Last evening, my son Brent found out he had made the golf team at Shawnee Mission East. SM East is surrounded by the best country clubs in Kansas City and has the most highly competitive golf program in the area. For Brent to make this team without a country club membership is an amazing feat and I am proud of him for making the team. I am also equally as proud of my son Jeff, who made the SM East freshman basketball team after a competitive tryout. And it takes me back to my own childhood.
I tried out for the basketball team at Indian Creek Junior High School in my 8th and 9th grade years. I tried out for the baseball team at Shawnee Mission South during my sophomore and junior years. I was cut on the last day of tryouts all 4 times. I will go to my grave knowing, with 100% conviction, that I was good enough to play on all 4 teams. It hurt like hell to get cut. Yet, Coach McKenzie at Indian Creek and Coach McDonald at SM South, both with limited slots, did what they had to do and filled those slots with players they felt best fit their needs. I harbor no bitter feelings or ill will towards either Coach McKenzie or Coach McDonald. But I say all this to make a point.
Brent was cut from the golf team after trying out as a freshman and as a sophomore. But he persisted and persevered. And I am happy for him that he experienced the joy of triumph after experiencing the agony of being cut. He poured himself into making himself a better golfer, always determined to make himself a better golfer. He failed, and he used that failure to make himself better. It is a lesson that will serve him well.
And I always believed in him. But, did I always tell him that? I do not know. I know that I am such a realist, and not much of an idealist. Sometimes you have to throw off that coat of "the way things are" and put on the coat that says "this is how it could be." As fathers, the greatest gift we can give our sons is letting them know we believe in them. Always. Our sons will fail many times. You still believe in them anyway. They need to know that it is not the end of the world. The need to know that we believe in them. We need to tell them they will make it, they will succeed. As fathers, we need to let them know that. There will be many obstacles on the road to success. Someone will be there to try and block the shot, to tackle you or to make birdie when you have made par. Do not tear him down by telling him he is too slow, too short, not quick enough, does not jump high enough. You have to believe in them, even if they do not believe in themselves in that moment.
Fathers, never stop believing in your sons. Especially during their moments of failure. They will fail many times. But, if you do not stop believing in them, then they will reward you someday in ways you cannot imagine. And they will love you for that.
