Sunday, November 12, 2017

With A Grateful Heart

"Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in EVERY situation because this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess 5:16-18
 
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Col. 3:15
 
 
Gratitude was the subject of the sermon at church this morning, and it challenged me to ask myself just how grateful I am. I have found that it is hard to be grateful, and then to express that gratitude.  Why do we find it so easy to complain about anything and everything, yet find it so hard to express gratitude? I do it as much as anyone! Today was the perfect day for me to show gratitude. My Facebook page filled up with over 100 birthday wishes! Today, I am so thankful that so many people took time out of their day to wish me a Happy Birthday. To each of you who took that time - thank you. You made my day more than you know. Made me realize I have many special people in my life. I hope I was able to personally say "thank you" to each of you. That was my desire. 
 
Gratitude has many side benefits as well. Those who express gratitude regularly are happier, sleep better, experience less depression. Gratitude takes an intentional effort.  It does not come naturally to many people. If it comes naturally to you, share your secret! Thing is if I start listing the things I am grateful for, I won't stop writing for a long time. Today, I am grateful to a God who has given me breath for 51 years, a family that loves me unconditionally, and friends who took the time to say "Happy Birthday!" Now, I know that for some people, posting Happy Birthday to a Facebook page is not your thing, and I am good with that. Do not want you to think I am belittling you in any way. Some of you list an item everyday that you are grateful for. That is awesome! Expressing gratitude, no matter how small it may be, makes the world a far better place. Thank you to everyone who made my world a better place today.


Sunday, July 9, 2017

Of Patton Oswalt, Erica Roman and Me

Erica Roman created quite a stir this past weekend with a blog post regarding the announced engagement of comedian Oswalt Patton and Michelle Salenger (https://ericaroman.me/2017/07/07/a-widows-rage-defense-of-patton-oswalts-engagement/).  Normally, I would not care one twit about this, but I did read this with interest since I am a widower myself, and I felt many of same things she felt.  But, rather than pour out anger, I believe something like this could serve as a useful instructional piece.  However, I also agree with Ms. Roman when she writes, "You don’t get to comment on the choices of a widower while you sit happily next to your own living spouse. You didn’t have to stand and watch your mundane morning turn into your absolute worst nightmare. You didn’t have to face the agony of despair and the only person who could possibly bring you comfort had been ripped from your life forever. You didn’t have to stand in the ashes of what was once your life, when the sun itself darkened and the very air you breathed felt toxic in your lungs. Go back to scrolling Facebook and keep your ignorance to yourself.

"Who gave you the position to judge when it’s “too soon” for a person who has suffered the worst to be able to find happiness and companionship again? Its been 15 months! How long should a widow sit in isolation before YOU are comfortable enough to release them from their solitary confinement?"  I completely understand the anger, as I have been there myself.  I could speak to these remarks, but I do not understand her situation, nor can I speak to the situation of Mr. Oswalt and Ms. Salenger.  What I do know is that my life was instantly turned upside down, I had two sons, the oldest of which was one month shy of his 3rd birthday, and the love of my life was ripped away from me forever. 

Five Stages of Grief
There are 5 well known stages of grief:  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.  Denial I found absolutely essential.  Oh, I went through anger - my "prayers" such as they were largely consisted of me lecturing God, yelling at God that I did not want this.  I wanted no part of widowhood and I wanted no part of single parenthood.  But in the midst of all that, I received some terrific advice: if I keep talking to God, He will keep listening to me.  I have never forgotten that. I do not ever recall a bargaining stage, but I did go through depression.  I still do battle depression, and I will battle it for the rest of my life.  I have reached a point of acceptance, but it took me many, many years.  My stubbornness largely stood in the way of acceptance. 
 
What I have found in my own experience is that one does not march through these stages in any kind of sequential order.  I experienced the "one step forward, two steps backward" many times.  Those then moved to became "two steps forward, one step backward."  One day, I might feel acceptance of the circumstance, then the next, I was back in depression, which might bring out my anger.  And depression is a monster that will eat you alive.  But through it all, I never entertained suicidal thoughts.  I never fell into the trap of drugs or alcohol (I do drink socially).  I digress here, but I found it interesting that this morning in church, as I was talking to an older lady that I had known through church for the past 3-4 years, I mentioned my battle with depression with her, and she said she would never have guessed that about me.  Not the first time I have heard that. 
 
Timetable For Grief
What I want to stress to people is that there is no timetable for grief.  I cannot emphasize this enough.  People will want the grieving person to "snap out of it, it's been long enough."  This is one of the worst things you can say to someone who is grieving.  And this will go a long way towards spiraling a person into a deep depression.  I know the person saying this is well intentioned and wanting to help the grieving person move forward with life, but that is not the way to do it.
 
Which brings me back to Ms. Roman's comment, "How long should a widow sit in isolation before YOU are comfortable enough to release them from their solitary confinement?"  Getting back out into society, being with friends is very helpful.  At first, it is hard to have perspective as a widow/widower getting back out and socializing.  For me, at the end of happy outings, I was going back home to my lonely existence that I was not used to, nor did I want to face it again.  Over time, you develop perspective and joy will return to your life in bits and pieces.
 
So, when is it the right time for instance to date and remarry if you are grieving the loss of a spouse?  My answer is it depends.  It took me 22 months to grieve Angie's death, so for me, 15 months would have been way too soon.  I had to learn how to date someone besides Angie.  That took awhile.  Mr. Oswalt and Ms Salenger feel comfortable with where they are in their relationship, and it is not my place to comment on it.  Neither is it yours.  The point is, if you have not lost a spouse, and you have never experienced that deep grief, then you have no idea what the grieving widow/widower is feeling or going through.  I would highly recommend that you do not try to offer "helpful" advice.

Back To "Normal"
What eventually brought me around to my acceptance?  First, I am not convinced that I am all the way there.  I am about 98%-99% of the way there.  But I have to credit my Christian faith and a pastor, Reverend Adam Hamilton (www.cor.org), for preaching sermon after sermon after sermon about hope.  He stressed over and over in his sermons that no matter how much of a mess our lives are, no matter how screwed up we are, no matter how bitter we are about past experiences, we still mattered to God, and He still had a plan for each of us.  He has often said, "For those whose hope is in the Lord, the worst thing is never the last thing."  People who are widowed can easily feel they have no worth anymore.  This is why depression is a stage of grief.  And I credit my two sons.  They have no idea, but I am alive today because of them.  Today, they bring me such incredible amounts of joy.  I am so excited for what the future holds for both of them.  Finally, I credit a family that did not give up on me.  They saw me at my worst, and continued to love me unconditionally.  They could have easily given up on me, but they did not.  I will be forever grateful for each of these.  And I am back at a place where I feel like I matter again.  That is a great feeling to have.
 
One other word I will say before I close.  Should a widow/widower remarry, the new spouse needs to understand that the deceased spouse will always occupy a place in the surviving spouse's heart.  To ask them to forget about him/her is completely unfair.  At the same time, the widowed person will have plenty of room in his/her heart to love another completely and fully.  My grandfather had a wonderful 44-year marriage to my grandmother after he had been widowed TWICE!  I do not know where he summoned the strength to love again like that, it has been hard enough for me after being widowed once!  But the new spouse should not feel threatened or slighted just because of a few moments of remembrance on the part of the widowed person.  As Ms. Roman said in her blog, " thats what widowed hearts do. They expand."  The heart does expand and make more room for love. 

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The Internet Stock Bubble, Climate Science & Trusting The Experts


I found myself rather amused at the reaction on both my Twitter feed and my Facebook feed regarding President Trump’s decision to pull out of the Paris Climate Change Accord last week.  I will be the first to admit that I am not well versed on the science involved.  I neither subscribe wholeheartedly to the idea that climate change is real, nor to the idea that it is a complete hoax.  If anything, I lean slightly to the idea that it is real.  Yet I am not at all alarmed by the President’s decision.  I do not believe for a second that our withdrawal is some sort of “murdering the earth” or “flipping Mother Nature the middle finger” gesture.  Why not?  Simply put, I have seen this sort of thing before, and it does not end well for the experts.

In mulling this over, I recalled a terrific piece of advice I received about investments that translates well to human reaction to hysteria, a Bible verse, and my own experience with the wisdom of the experts.  The advice came from an old boss, Howard Jacobson, as I started my job as an Equity Analyst at UMB.  He told me to pay attention to the Wall Street analysts who said “Sell” when all others said “Buy” and vice versa.  In other words, do not follow the crowd, because you are likely to get stampeded on the way in and again on the way out.  This does not mean to blindly follow a contrarian viewpoint.  Instead, it points to the idea that we should use the brain God gave us to think things through.  Do the work in order to reach your own conclusions, instead of letting others do your thinking for you.  The Bible verse is Isaiah 29:14 “…the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish.” (NIV)  This speaks to the idea that those who possess great wisdom often possess great arrogance to go with it, and that God will humble those who exalt themselves.  Finally, my own experience with experts is far less than stellar. 

My favorite argument put forth by the pro-climate change crowd is that “97% of the scientific community has concluded that climate change is real.”  No doubt that statement is true.  It is also true that I possess a large dose of that “healthy Midwestern skepticism,” and based on my experience, I have good reason to question the conclusions and recommendations of the scientists.  I go back to the Internet stock bubble of the late 1990’s for my guidance.  The internet stock bubble was one where 97% of the experts agreed that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, a window of opportunity never to be repeated.  In fact, it was a great opportunity.  The Internet has completely changed the way we live our lives. But has it played out like we thought it would back in 1998?  I doubt it.  For if we had followed the recommended advice of the experts in 1998, chances are we would have all been broke by the end of 2001.  And this is where my skepticism comes full force.

The Internet stock bubble and climate change science seem completely different, so why compare these two?  First, my vantage point.  I was an Equity Analyst at UMB Investment Advisors covering the technology sector at that time.  I was talking to the experts and getting first-hand knowledge.  It was like watching a sporting event live in the arena versus watching it on TV.  You see things in the arena or stadium that the TV camera does not necessarily capture.  It was an exciting time, change was rapid, and there were many great leaps forward.  I saw, and heard, tidbits that were never meant for public consumption.  I remember being in possession of insider information once.  I got to see the formation of the asset bubble up close and in person.  What I saw were the experts proclaiming their infinite wisdom, and I saw their ridicule towards those who did not accept their thinking without question.  I saw first hand how people reacted to the hype and hysteria. I once got my head handed to me by a client who could not understand why I did not have his 70-year-old Mom 100% invested in technology stocks.  No joke!  This man bought into the hype, the experts and the hysteria hook, line and sinker.  And the meeting date?  March 9, 2000 - the very day the NASDAQ index peaked.  No doubt, those who work daily with the leading scientists and experts in the field see a completely different game than those of us who watch it on TV.

Second, similar methodologies.  The internet stock analysts were considered the best and the brightest, often quoted in the mainstream media regarding their analysis and recommendations.  They used sophisticated computer models, updated as new information became available.  They combined regular discussions with various company managements within the industry, discussions with sophisticated institutional investment clients, and with other analysts to supplement their models and make their recommendations. Today's climate scientists are also considered the best and the brightest in their chosen field.  How do climate scientists make their recommendations?  Relying on sophisticated computer models, updated as new information comes in, discussions with other climate scientists, and various industry, academic and government leaders.  Very similar indeed.

Despite the precise nature of computer models, they are far from precise and definitely not perfect.  I remember reading a research report in 1999 which argued the case that one of those internet stocks (I don’t remember which one) was a screaming buy, not just because of its potential growth, but also because it was a great value.  The stock, according to the analyst, was selling at 6x estimated 2010 cash flow.  It was all I could do to keep from falling out of my chair laughing.  Nobody can predict ten years into the future what a company’s cash flow will be with any kind of accuracy.  Today, I doubt the stock is even around.  I cannot imagine the analyst is still plying his trade either.  Climate scientists also use computer modeling, and even with the latest information, it still does not have perfect information to predict the future with certainty.

These models have many different moving parts, whether it is the stock analyst with his earnings estimates or the climate scientist with his climate temperature estimate.  In both cases, even a miniscule deviation in the input data can create a large variance in the actual outcome versus the modeled estimate.  And no one can ever predict the future with 100% certainty.

Another reason I am skeptical of their conclusions centers on the dire consequences they predict without implementing their solutions.  The predictions of dire consequences are intended to create hysteria, and as I pointed out earlier, hysteria is something wise and thoughtful people avoid.  Unfortunately, those leading the hysteria are the politicians, who should be the voice of reason and prudence instead.

If climate change is a real problem, who will solve it, the capitalist or the socialist?  My money is on the capitalist. Why?  The motivation behind it.  The capitalist has an incentive to solve it – profit.  The socialist’s incentive? To maintain government funding.  Solve the problem and the funding goes away.  This gets to the heart of why I am skeptical of their conclusions.  This problem will be solved in bits and pieces, not as part of one gigantic collective effort.  What if we invest in one gigantic, collective effort, and it does not work?  There won’t be enough money for a second chance.  Money will be allocated much more efficiently by the capitalists.  By solving it in smaller chunks, there will be more room for error.

I am excited about the potential for the future of energy.  Fossil fuels are a sunset industry as we move towards cleaner, and ultimately, cheaper fuels.  I think solar has tremendous potential, especially as we harness more of its energy in each panel.  The idea of powering homes with solar energy, and getting houses off the grid is amazing to me.  I would love to get neighborhood power lines taken down.  I also know that is still off in the future.  I am also very interested in what a company like Tesla is doing with cars.  I can see a day in the not too distant future where all new cars will be built without a combustible engine.  But it will come in bits and pieces.

So I come back around to the advice I received, the Bible verse, and my own perspective.  What this has all taught me is never take the conclusions of the experts at face value.  They have been wrong plenty of times.  Eight months ago today, 97% of the experts assured us that Hillary Clinton would be our President today.  We saw the reaction when the certainty of that event did not happen.  The Wall Street analysts promised us unending prosperity with their Internet stock recommendations. The result to those who followed the experts was broken dreams, more than a few broken families, and a very healthy business for bankruptcy attorneys.

If you believe wholeheartedly in climate science, I have to conclude that this belief comes one of three ways: 1) you are intimately acquainted with the science through having worked in the industry, and performed extensive research yourself, perhaps in conjunction with other scientists in the field.  You have perused the academic journals and trade publications, gaining knowledge and even better understanding of the subject at hand.  Perhaps you have conducted original research that has been published.  If so, congratulations.  The second way is: 2) you are not employed in the industry or even within the scientific field, but you are a thoughtful person who will take the time to read extensively on the subject before forming a carefully considered opinion.  You will immerse yourself in the science, and you will happily read dissenting opinions to gain perspective and further inform your thinking.  You educate yourself and think for yourself.  You will always remain skeptical of prevailing opinion until you are comfortable with your own conclusions.  You will not take the pontifications of commentators, newspapers and definitely not politicians at face value.  I will certainly respect your opinion.  The third way you have come to believe in the climate science argument: 3) you have swallowed someone else’s political agenda hook, line, and sinker.  You have gladly accepted at face value the conclusions without understanding the methodologies behind it, simply because they hold themselves out as “experts”.  You receive your knowledge exclusively from mainstream newspapers and popular talk shows on TV. You never bother to ask yourself critical questions, nor do you conduct any of your own research.  You do not acquaint yourself with the science.  Your thoughts are someone else’s, and your opinion is not carefully formed.  I sincerely hope you are not Number 3.
What about pulling out of the Paris Accord?  The decision itself will not stop the research and the march forward toward cleaner energy.  Companies will continue to exploit profit opportunities in this area - the idea of doing well by doing good.  I have no problem with it at all.  But I refuse to be caught up in the hysteria.  I have no desire to be stampeded.  Is the Accord nothing more than a giant transfer of wealth away from the American taxpayer to the rest of the world?  It is not difficult to make that case, particularly when China, the world's biggest polluter, with the world's largest population and the world's largest economy, does not have to pay anything into the agreement for more than 10 years.  Do I think the earth is going to suffer terrible pollution because of the President's decision? No.  Do I think that companies that have invested so much into a cleaner environment will all of a sudden walk away from it all?  No.  As I stated above, I believe the capitalists will win the fight over the environment.  We have a long ways to go.  But, there is so much to be hopeful about.  The vast majority of Americans want a cleaner environment.  This is a worthy aspiration.  Do I think shipping taxpayer money off to a bunch of different governments, who are only obligated under a "voluntary agreement" to spend it on environmental clean up is a good idea?  No.  Give me the free market, give me an opportunity to exploit it for profit, and give me people with know-how, an unbreakable spirit, a determined work ethic, and the ability to make some money every single time.  Those are the people who will solve this issue.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Coke Is It. Until It Isn't It.


On this day in 1985, Coca-Cola pulled one of the biggest blunders in history.  Ok, maybe I exaggerate.  But the blunder they pulled was enormous. The company announced that it was changing the formula of its flagship product.  What was meant as an update to a venerable product turned into one of the greatest episodes of managerial incompetence that generations of future college students will study every which way.  The 1980’s were the Cola War years in which Pepsi decided it would go after Coke like never before.  Pepsi started gaining market share (they had actually gained market share throughout the 1970’s), and Coke blinked.  They decided they needed to do something big to hold off Pepsi and revitalize the Coke brand. 

People were furious at Coca-Cola’s decision.  They became even angrier when they got a taste of the “New Coke.”  The company was inundated with angry phone calls.  CEO Roberto Goizueta received an angry letter addressed to “Chief Dodo, The Coca-Cola Company.” Protest groups sprang up, the most notable of which was The Old Cola Drinkers of America, led by a man named Gay Mullins. Shortly after its release, one poll of soda drinkers showed that only 13% liked the taste of New Coke.

Just 79 days later, on July 11, 1985, Coca-Cola reversed its decision and announced it would bring back its old formula under the name “Coca-Cola Classic.” It turned out to be a stroke of genius.  People celebrated the return of the old formula, and the Coke brand was revitalized.

Why did Coke change the formula in the first place?  As mentioned above, Pepsi had gained market share versus Coke for 15 consecutive years.  Coke conducted blind taste tests all over the country, and over 200,000 people participated. The results of the taste tests convinced Coke executives that they needed to change to a sweeter formula because that is what consumer preferred.  Why did the formula change backfire?  The company simply did not realize the loyalty of its customers. 

In the old “Coke vs Pepsi” battle, I have always been a Coke guy.  I am also a big believer in not messing with a good thing.  And the business lesson here is keep in touch with your customers.  Gain their loyalty, and maintain it. Find out what makes them prefer your product. The marketers and the taste testers could not measure that loyalty.  Plus, they did not appreciate the mess that can be created when you fix something that is not broken.

Ultimately, Mr. Goizueta would go on to become a legendary CEO, turning Coke into the world’s most valuable brand before his death in 1997.  He, along with his sidekick, Donald Keough, took full advantage of the Communist collapse of the late 1980’s and early 1990’s to beat Coke into Eastern Europe and Asia.  Their blunder also revitalized the Coke brand in the United States.  In short, Coke reasserted its dominance over Pepsi.  But, Mr. Goizueta was also quite stubborn and never could admit that changing the formula in 1985 was a huge mistake. Hopefully, he learned something from it.

And as for Mr. Mullins who led the protest group, The Old Cola Drinkers of America?  He received the first cans of Coca-Cola Classic that rolled off the assembly line in 1985.

Now, if we could only go back to glass bottles.  Coke was not meant to be consumed from aluminum cans or plastic anything.  Coke should only be consumed from glass bottles, or glasses containing Coke dispensed from a fountain.  But that’s the next fight.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Make America Great Again!

Many of us will recognize the title of this essay as the slogan of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign last fall.  Next week, Mr. Trump will be inaugurated as the nation’s 45th President, and I thought about this slogan again.  I have always found this slogan intriguing, not for any originality, but for the reaction it created, and how it highlighted cultural divides in America.  This slogan can be a great teacher, if we let it.
The slogan implies that America was a once great nation that is no longer great.  Mr. Trump’s opponents scoffed at the slogan, and gave it no further thought.  For me, as I watched Mr. Trump rack up win after win in the Republican primaries, ultimately win the party’s nomination, then win the Presidency, I kept asking myself a question that Mr. Trump’s critics never bothered to ask: Why is this slogan resonating with people? 
To find an answer to this question, I asked myself, who or what made America great in the first place? The “what” is easy.  Ours is a country founded on freedom. But within that, who made this country great?  Again, easy answer.  People.  People such as farmers, teachers, entrepreneurs, soldiers, craftsmen, plumbers, electricians, fireman, policeman, pastors, shop keepers, community bankers, machinists, welders, mechanics, and others like them.  They may not have been the smartest people around, they may not have always made the wisest choices, but they were generally hard working, had hearts full of gratitude, they knew what they were doing, they knew how to take care of themselves and their families, and they possessed a genuine desire to help others. We were blessed with leaders who protected us from our enemies, but otherwise let us live out our dreams.
If those people made America great, then who made it “not great”?  People.  People such as politicians, powerful bankers, lobbyists, bureaucrats, corporate executives, elite university professors.  In short, it was our leaders.  But wait, are these not noble professions and callings?  They are. But, what these people all have in common is that we look to these types of people as the smartest, and most highly educated people. Yet, these are the same people who brought us to this state. These are the very people who necessitated the slogan “Make America Great Again” and made President Donald Trump possible.  But how?  It was the experts who have told us that we need to stop teaching right from wrong. It was the experts who gave us the unprecedented greed that we see from corporate executives, politicians, and the powerful bankers. It is the experts who told us that we need to lose our moral compass.  It was the experts who looked down with contempt at the lives of the average American.  It was the experts who told us they knew what we needed better than we the people knew ourselves.  Yet, those same experts keep telling us they need more and more of our money to solve the problems they created.   In short, the level of arrogance among today’s “experts” is downright sickening.
So, how does all this lead us back to “Make America Great Again”?  To our leaders, lose the arrogance and the attitude quickly.  You are not that smart and we are not that dumb.  We see through your BS.  Trust me, your spin is nothing but complete BS.  It does not matter if you are Democrat, Republican, liberal or conservative.  Quit cramming your crap and cockamamie theories down our throats. Start listening to us.  Start talking to us, not at us.  Do not cherry pick your audience, but listen to a broad spectrum of voices from all walks of life.  Quit trying to blame everyone else for the problems you created.  Own up to your mistakes, learn from them and move forward.  Quit lecturing us about our mistakes while ignoring your own.  No one likes a self- righteous prick, and that is what many of you have become.  Quit believing that you are the only one with all the answers.  No one has all the answers except God, and you are not God.  Quit telling us how stupid we are.  Quit trying to micromanage our lives.
If you want to lead, then become a servant and quit trying to be a master.  A true leader is a servant to his people, not a lord and master.  Show us respect instead of contempt.  Show respect to our forefathers and the wisdom they handed down generation to generation.  Respect the moral compass again.  Respect limits to power.  Those limits are there for a reason.  Let us live in freedom.
To the rest of us.  Show kindness and compassion, especially to the widow, the orphan, the elderly.  Do not scream, yell and generally show disrespect to those who disagree with you.  Two people can disagree without being disagreeable.  Understand that everyone has their own unique point of view and they come by it honestly.  If you do not know why you believe something, then examine why with an open mind and do not be afraid to change your mind.  Always think for yourself.  Educate yourself.  Do not take anything your leaders say at face value.  Do not believe everything you read in the media.  Especially if the opinion being expressed is one you agree with.  If you do, then you do not believe in anything and you will fall for everything.
If we all do these things, we can go a long way to Make America Great Again.