Looking Ahead to 2012

Happy New Year everyone! If the ancient Mayan calendar is to be believed, this will be the last year any of us ever hear that greeting again. However, between now and then, many interesting things will happen, and here are a few of them:

1. The world really won't end on December 21, 2012. Actually, I don't know that for sure. My best source on this subject says the day and hour is unknown.

2. Barack Obama will win re-election. The 2012 Presidential election should be a layup for the Republicans. Instead, the Republicans are turning the layup into a desperation heave. Look for someone to draft a "Reagan For President" campaign. However, when it is discovered that he read mainstream media publications and negotiated with Democrats, extreme conservatives will deem him too liberal and refuse to vote for him. The fact that he is dead will never be a factor in any of this.

3. Folks in Louisiana will be celebrating their two favorite football teams in January and February. LSU will beat Alabama to win the BCS Championship game, and the Saints will defeat the Steelers to win the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Chiefs GM Scott Pioli will determine that the Chiefs biggest need in the draft is for a backup punter. And in keeping with the "Patriots Way" he hires New England's water boy to be the Chiefs' new head coach.

4. In other sports predictions, the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship, North Carolina will win the NCAA Championship, and the Lady Baylor Bears will win the women's NCAA Championship! President Obama will pick Kansas to win the tournament in his bracket, and when the Jayhawks are eliminated, he will blame George W Bush for his failure.

5. The economy will sputter along, with GDP growing 2% in 2012. Unemployment will inch down to 8.6%, and the S&P 500 will advance 14%. Interest rates will remain stable in the US. Nancy Pelosi will once again say unemployment checks will grow the economy.

6. As usual, I will likely be clueless on pop culture, but my girlfriend will put forth her best effort to make sure I keep up. My kids will continue to believe I'm a dork and an old man, but there will be still be plenty of times they think I'm cool.

7. My son Brent will shoot at least one round of golf in the 70's in 2012. For 18 holes. I can also shoot in the 70's but there are still 5 holes left when I do.

8. I will win at least one $100 million lottery in 2012. I will use the money to buy a spectacularly lavish house with a pool, and will live a life of splendor and luxury. Ahhhhhh, the good life...wait, is that my alarm clock going off? Is it time to get up? Was that a dream??? Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

9. I will write "2011" as the year on my checks for at least a month....wait, does anyone write checks anymore??

10. I will get married! (Pause...sound of girlfriend hitting the floor after fainting). Actually, this is my idea of a running joke. Someday the joke will be on me, and strange thing is, I might actually be happy about it.

Most of all, to my friends and my family and those I love: Happy 2012! May your year be filled with prosperity, health, laughter, unbridled joy, and love.