This post is primarily directed at those who are, or have been, parents of teenagers. I have wrestled with this idea since I first heard it about 6 or 7 years ago. In all that time, I still do not even know my answer to this dilemma.
The dilemma is this: as my sons enter their peak sexual years, should I provide them with condoms that they can have access to with no questions asked as they go out on dates? On the one hand, it will prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. On the other hand, am I enabling an activity that I cannot condone?
I do not want my sons having sex at this time in their lives. I know that I cannot stop them, regardless of past teachings. Abstinence is the only 100% guarantee that there will be no unplanned pregnancies and no diseases. The kids do not understand the power of sex. At this age, boys think they are bullet proof. They do not understand what AIDS truly means (that it is largely a death sentence). They do not understand the power it holds over a young woman's feelings. What would happen if one of my sons got a young lady pregnant? Neither of them has the tools, skill set or maturity to provide for it. I cannot tell the young lady which way to go on abortion/adaption/keep the child, even though she would be carrying my grandchild. Part of my problem here is that my parents never discussed any of this with me. Maybe for some people, this is a no brainer. Maybe there are considerations here that I am not thinking of (excuse me for ending a sentence in a preposition). Parents, your perspectives are much appreciated.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I also have a son who is a teenager and it is difficult. We have told him many times that life right now is such a rush and there are so many things going on and so much to do and that having sex could put an end to the beginning of his road. His school seems to have a pretty good lesson plan and part of the assignment is to come and ask us about sex and the emotional part of it. The school teaches about STD's, pregnancies, etc. but nobody talks to the kids about the emotional side of it. And frankly, with all of the hormonal changes going on, adding one more emotion to the already crazy roller coaster seems like too much. He seems to 'get it' .... I just hope if he has questions he will come to us and we can talk some more about it.
I think the best road to take is, being honest with them. Tell them your fears and feelings on it. Let them know they can come to you anytime. Find a video of young parents and how hard it can be. Ask them if they have thought about it. Ask if they want condoms. When it is all said and done, they will do what they want.Just love them and say a prayer that God watches over them when you are not there.
The consequences of a mistake in this area are so high. The risks of providing condoms are so low. This one is a no brainer. The presecne or absence of a condom isn't going to cause a youngster to go forward or hold back. Only a good upbringing can do that, and sometimes even the best upbringing in the world doesnt prevent kids from making mistakes. Dont let one mistake ruin the futures of teenagers. Provide condoms as a health concern and disease prevention and contineu to provide as much abstinence information and specific common sense reasons to wait to begin an intimant relationship.
Post a Comment