"Memories
Light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were"
Barbara Streisand, The Way We Were, 1973
I have been undergoing a massive downsizing. Going from about 3,600 sq ft to 800 means you learn about things like minimalism and you learn what you really need and do not need. Downsizing can also be quite a spiritual cleansing as you clear out the physical clutter in your life. De-cluttering does not mean just get rid of everything. You learn what things you have truly serves your soul and has value, purpose and meaning in your life.
This weekend has been an example of this in my life as I went through countless sympathy cards from 25 years ago. I realized something as I looked through them - they were no longer comforting. The cards no longer contained any value or purpose in my life. Please understand that I am forever grateful to those who took the time to express their condolences to my family and me during that devestating time. The words meant a lot to us all and provided much needed comfort. The cards and letters were eventually gathered up and buried deep in the crevices of excess storage, not to be seen again until this past weekend. I knew as I read them again that they were no longer needed. My life has moved forward, my kids' lives have moved forward, and that is good. The cards, letters and their words were good in that time and space. I am no longer in that time and space. All the condolences could do was take me back to that time that I would rather forget.
I did choose to keep three letters which are still meaningful. The first was from one of Angie's former roommates at Baylor, who addressed the letter to my sons. The letter brought out Angie's ability to love deeply. The second was from one of her former colleagues at Ecolab who really highlighted the respect she garnered in her profession. The third was from The First Baptist Church of South Pittsburg, Tennessee. This church had a ministry at the time that would send volunteers to local hospitals to visit and bring comfort to those who were suffering. There were several members of that church who came to the hospital and played with the boys (keeping them distracted) while I was being treated for a broken collarbone. The pastor's wife, sizing up the situation, went to Wal Mart and bought some overnight clothes for the boys and grabbed some her husband's clothes for me (apparently, we were roughly the same size). I will never forget the kindness and generosity of those people who came and stayed for several hours. In my attempt to repay their kindness (which I could never truly do), I sent a donation to the church and a check to the pastor's family to repay them for their out-of-pocket expense.
I received a letter back from the church, signed by the pastor, thanking me for my donation. As I read it further, I was struck by the fact that he was hoping to purchase hand bells and create a permanent hand bell choir that would make beautiful music for many years. Hand bells really do make a beautiful sound, and when done well are joyful. Angie loved hand bells and to think that out of something so devestating, something beautiful could arise does bring a sense of happiness to my soul. Another thought has crossed my mind. I never did find out if the church purchased those hand bells. I hope they did!
One final thought. I would not recommend listening to Barbra Streisand singing "The Way We Were" while de-cluttering and parting with things from your past. It is a beautiful song, and Ms. Streisand's vocals were flawless in singing this song. But it will tear your guts out.
No comments:
Post a Comment