What Does The "Glow of An Expectant Widow" Look Like?

 Last Thursday, talk show host Jimmy Kimmel ran a bit on his show in which he was the MC at the White House Correspondent's Dinner (WHCD) when he lovingly and affectionately mentioned to Melania Trump that she looked like someone with "the glow of an expectant widow." Kimmel has faced a firestorm of accusations about this comment, including calls from the President and First Lady that Kimmel should be fired.

Kimmel is protected by the First Amendment right to freedom of speech. I do not believe that he should be fired over this one comment. He has the right to speak offensively and hatefully, and he employed both in this one statement. I will not make any calls to take those rights away from him. In his role, he also has the right to be funny, a right for which he has yet to take advantage. 

Was this comment objectively horrible? Yes. No one tries making jokes about someone potentially dying. Was the comment offensive? It was offensive to this widower. I never got to experience "the glow of the expectant widow(er)" because I was never one. My wife passed very suddenly, very unexpectedly and violently. As a result I was never "expectant." But I do have a soft spot in my heart for widows and widowers, especially those who lose a spouse at a tragically young age. I have been there and I know the hurt that the surviving spouse is feeling. This comment does not offend because of any perceived hurt on me. But in this moment, I think about the surviving spouse of a friend who passed away on April 15 from ALS. That has to be one of the hardest, cruelest deaths imaginable as it takes away all your physical abilities. ALS has no cure and has a 100% fatality rate. His wife stayed faithfully by his side throughout the entire ordeal. As a text message I received said, "As her MIL she was extremely kind and gave me an open door policy to come see (Name redacted) whenever I wanted. We all appreciate what she did for (redacted)! Never left his side for months! My heart hurts for her!" That is a saint. Those two were married less than 5 years ago. She spent about half her marriage caring for her dying husband, knowing there was no chance he would ever get better. I want to look Jimmy Kimmel in the eye and ask him, "What does the glow of this expectant widow look like?" This woman by now is exhausted, emotionally beat up and about to shed enough tears to fill multiple swimming pools. Again, I ask, "What does the glow of this expectant widow look like?" I fully expect that if I ever got that chance, he would pussyfoot around the question and give me every non-answer he could. I have no idea what the glow of an expectant widow looks like. I have never seen one. The expectant widows I know do not "glow." One thing I know for damn sure is that it is not funny.

I can understand Mrs. Trump's frustration and her call to have Mr. Kimmel fired. As mentioned earlier, Kimmel is protected by the Constitution and the right to freedom of speech. It does need to be noted that Mrs. Trump's husband has said some awful, horrible and vomit-inducing things about others after their passings. The most recent was the President's statement after the passing of Robert Mueller in which he said, "Good. I'm glad he's dead." There is no excuse for that type of statement from the President, and Melania's words fall on deaf ears quickly. 

There are plenty of reasons to fire Kimmel, should Disney want to go that route. This is at least the second time in the last 6-8 months that Kimmel has publicly embarrassed his bosses at ABC and Disney. Kimmel routinely draws audiences of around 1.7-1.8 million per night. By comparison, during the 1970's and 1980's, a time with many fewer TV sets and eyeballs, the GOAT in Kimmel's business - Johnny Carson - was pulling in 10X the number of viewers that Kimmel draws today. In fact, Carson's average audience was triple what Kimmel, Colbert and Fallon draw - combined. Carson put together a quality, genuinely funny show that did not have to routinely fight off calls to be fired over comments in poor taste because he did not go there. 

While I do not believe that Kimmel should be fired for this one comment, I would like to see Disney put out a strong statement of disapproval. Kimmel was trying to be funny and taking his shot at the Trumps. However, his comment hit people like the woman I mentioned above. And I find that highly offensive. As for me, I have never watched his show and I will not start now or ever.