The Iron Horse Becomes Indestructible

Happy Independence Day everyone! Today, I combine my love of history and my love of baseball to go back 80 years ago - July 4, 1939 - to Yankee Stadium in New York. Lou Gehrig, the Yankee first baseman from 1925 - 1938 had been diagnosed with a rare disease called amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. Gehrig had earned the nickname "The Iron Horse" because of his seemingly indestructible body. He played in a major league record 2,130 games between 1925 and the early part of the 1939 season. It was a record that would stand for over 50 years. Now, in a twist of fate that was both cruel and ironic, he was dying of a disease that would render him physically useless and would ultimately bear his name. ALS is widely known as "Lou Gehrig's Disease."

Gehrig's baseball career was extraordinary. He wound up with 2,721 hits, 494 home runs, 1995 RBI's and a .340 batting average. His hit total was a Yankee record until Derek Jeter broke it in 2009. His RBI total remains a Yankee record and is 7th in baseball history. He played on six World Series championship teams, he was a 7-time All-Star and he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1939 in a special election.

His speech on July 4, 1939 was historic (Click here to view it). He showed us that while the body of "The Iron Horse" would atrophy away, the spirit never would. He did not want to give that speech, but his manager, Joe McCarthy, nudged him to the microphones after the crowd had roared for a speech. He gave a speech that was courageous, strong, and heartfelt. He had a disease for which there was no cure. Yet he declared that he was the "luckiest man on the face of the earth." He even received a hug from his longtime teammate, and nemesis, Babe Ruth. The two men did not like each other while they played for the Yankees, but this day was for burying that hatchet.

Lou Gehrig died June 3, 1941 at the age of 37. There is still no known cure for ALS - "Lou Gehrig's Disease."

A Conversation with A Pakistani Woman

Today, I had the pleasure of having an extended conversation with a Pakistani woman who shared her observations and experiences with me. To call this fascinating would be an understatement. As a little background, she came to this country about 4 years ago to study. She is now about to graduate from UMKC with an MBA. Healthcare is her specialty.

Before coming to America, all she knew of this country was what she read through the Pakistani media. Their media does not paint a flattering picture of America or Americans. Her actual experiences here are far different than what is portrayed in Pakistan. I told her that if all you knew about America and Americans is what you read in the American media, you would think that conservatives are mean, hateful people or that liberals are mean, hateful people, depending on the biases of the writer. She came here expecting the worst.

She started off with her observations about our healthcare system. The concept of health insurance is totally foreign to her. I do not think she completely grasped the concept. In Pakistan, there are two levels of care, the public and the private. Under the public system, run by the government, the standard of care is very low, and the conditions are horrid. She said it was common to see 2 or 3 people receiving care to share a bed, and the care is substandard. Under the private system, if you have money, you can get a higher standard of care, your own private bed, access to specialists, etc… But there is no insurance of any kind. To get the private care, you dish out lots of cash. And she said it was very expensive. Her conclusion was that in spite of our system’s shortcomings, it is far superior to the healthcare system in her country.

But what most impressed her about America was its constant, stable supply of electricity. Amazing, isn’t it? We take electricity for granted and we about lose our minds if a lightning strike takes it out. We complain loudly if it is not back up in a timely fashion. Yet in her homeland, the electricity goes out for several hours each day. You just come to expect it over there. It makes it very uncomfortable in the summer when it gets unbearably hot and the A/C gets shut down.

What most got to me though was her experience with average Americans. She said that the Americans that she has run across in her daily experience have been so kind, caring and welcoming. It all started for her as she was preparing to come to America and the people at UMKC were so helpful to her in assisting her with her visa. Her day-to-day encounters with average Americans have really left a positive impression on her. She is eager to go back to Pakistan and tell her people that what the media there says about America and Americans is so wrong. Stuff like this reaffirms my belief in America. This is one of those things that makes America great. And it reaffirms my faith in a basic goodness in people.

There are plenty of things in our culture that are screwed up. But there is a lot that is right with America and Americans. Both of us agreed on this point. We are great. We have room to become greater. I thank this young woman who stretched me a bit, enlightened me a great deal in 20 minutes and helped me to grow a bit.

Six Months. Each Day Is A Gift

Six months ago today, July 18, 2018, I suffered a stroke. In some ways, it seems long ago, in others it is as if it happened yesterday. It has been an amazing journey, and I am a different person physically, spiritually, and mentally. I will state up front that strokes affect everyone differently. A stroke can affect any part of the brain and depending on which areas get hit is what will determine what your recovery will look like.

One of the first questions I had was “Could this happen again?” The answer is a resounding yes. In fact, the biggest risk of a second stroke occurs in the first year after you survive your initial stroke. Depending on which study you want to believe, the risk of a second stroke within that first year is 2x – 7x greater than for a person who has never had a stroke. Men are more susceptible to strokes than women, as men have generally higher blood pressure. Even 5 years out, the risk of a recurrence is 40% higher than for those who have suffered no prior strokes. I read that 23% of women and 42% of men who survive strokes will have another at some point. That’s a lot to live with right there! But I have also learned that living with constant worry and fear is no way to live.

My body is certainly different. My right side is still numb and will likely be that way for a long time, perhaps for the rest of my life. It is a constant reminder, that “thorn in my side” as the Apostle Paul wrote about in 2 Corinthians (2 Cor 12:7-8). One result is that I have lost noticeable grip strength in my right hand. I still have problems holding objects in my right hand. For example, a drink will still tip over unless I watch it carefully. Another I noticed during my initial physical therapy evaluation when the therapist asked me to stand up, put my feet together and look straight ahead for thirty seconds. Piece of cake. Then the therapist asked me to close my eyes. I did and started staggering like a drunk person. My vision was compensating for what turned out to be a loss of function in my eardrums for balance. I have since got much of that function back. Finally, I did have some initial face droop. One of the recommended exercises (out of several) to combat face droop is to practice kissing. I am not making this up! Practice kissing. So, I extend an invitation to all the ladies who wish to help me with this exercise (HAHA). Just have to see the humor in all this mess, too. I have adjusted my diet, primarily by reducing my salt intake, designed to lower my blood pressure. I have lost some weight in the process, although that is not my primary goal or consideration. Finally, I am on 5 different medications daily, consuming 7 pills and that has helped hold my blood pressure in check. I have not missed a dose of medication in the last six months. My body is different now and I will not always be able to do the things I used to do.

The biggest change that I have noticed is in how my brain works. Functions that have been most affected are my balance, my speech and the way I process light. I can tell my brain does not react with the same speed that it used to. I do not fall or slur my words but walking in a straight line can be challenging for me. If you are walking next to me, you might be prepared to get bumped or at least have me lean into you. But the way I process light has really taken me by surprise. I first noticed this as daylight savings time ended and I was driving after dark more often. The incoming lights from automobiles takes a toll and mentally exhausts me. But the night I drove past a police car that had its lights flashing, I felt overwhelmed. My brain could not take it and I had to close my eyes for a couple of seconds. Obviously, I will not be dancing at a club or seeing a movie anytime soon with all those flashing lights coming at me. My brain is rewiring.

This has been an interesting journey as I have progressed through recovery. I was fortunate that I had a mild stroke. I have spoken of a “new normal” in the past and that is exactly what I am discovering. My body cannot do things it used to. My brain works differently, and a bit slower. I can see places where I have had to change physically and mentally. Spiritually, I am filled with more gratitude than ever before and I my soul is filled with more happiness and peace than I have known in years. I am mystified that I have given up things I used to do, yet I am more at peace with myself. I still get frustrated at times, but not like I used to. Each day is a gift. I have made it this far, and God willing, there is much more to go down this winding, unpredictable and glorious path of life.

The Puruit of Happiness

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” – Thomas Jefferson, 1776

Sometimes I wonder if Jefferson wrote a most unfortunate sentence here. The right to pursue happiness I do not question, but sometimes I question why the pursuit of happiness? To be happy is very desirable, and I do not question that happiness is a good thing. I want to be happy! Who doesn’t, right? But I do feel that happiness itself is so often misunderstood. At least, I seem to misunderstand it. People pursue happiness as a primary goal. What I have found in my own pursuit of happiness is that it is a secondary feeling, not a primary one. We are happy as a result of other feelings. And the ironic thing is, many of those who pursue happiness for the sake of being happy wind up quite unhappy. I have found that there are three keys to ultimately being happy: 1) give yourself away; 2) be your genuine self; 3) confront conflicts and problems head on right away.

Happiness may start within, but it needs to flow out. You will not find happiness by focusing strictly on yourself. So be a blessing to someone else today. Love those close to you. Live joyfully, with kindness and generosity towards others, and gratitude in your heart. Be sure to express that gratitude! Laugh with others every day. Cast out hate, selfishness and envy. You do these things, and an unexplainable peace will come over you. Examine those parts of your life that bring out your best. Do the same with what brings out your worst. Do these things and you will be on your way to happiness. I have found that I do need to take time each day for myself. We all need to recharge, to unwind. Take that time. This will make you a better parent, a better spouse, a better you.

Nobody is better at being you than you. This is a great thing. So be you! This has been the most difficult thing for me. Earlier this year, a friend asked me, “What do you really love to do?” or words to that effect. Another way to put this is to ask yourself what makes you most authentically you? Being somebody else in order to please others will not bring you happiness. Yet I spent many years doing just that. In the end, I was miserable. Strangely enough, my stroke has forced me to lay aside some of my own expectations, and I have become more authentically me. I have found more peace, contentment and happiness in the process. But what about unhealthy aspects that make you who you are? What controls you? Is it alcohol or drugs? An inappropriate relationship that threatens you and your family? Financial difficulties? These parts of you need to change. Confront them and defeat them. You can do it! These things make false promises and rob you of true happiness.

The third key to happiness is confronting conflicts and problems right away. Life is not always easy, light and happy. Sometimes we encounter difficulties as mentioned above. Confront these early. Do not let them linger or build up. Life does not always go as planned. My life is nothing like I thought it would be! It could be the loss of a loved one. Grieve them deeply. It could be an accident. It could be the way someone else treats you. An unhappy customer. Confront the difficulties early before they become too big, and in the long run you will be much happier.

I find it easier to define happiness by what it is not, rather than what it is. For instance, happiness is not found in the acquisition of more stuff. Your stuff should work for you and serve you well. But it will never make you truly happy. Our human nature will always want the next great thing. It is not found in making money for the sake of making money. It is not found by placing your hope in others. People will let you down. They do not mean to, and this does not make them bad people. It is just their human nature (or perhaps our own?). And it is not found in filling up your life with busyness. Being busy with things that do not serve any greater purpose than busyness will leave you feeling frustrated and unfulfilled. Understand that happiness is not an instantaneous thing, but rather an evolutionary process. It does not happen overnight, but over a period of time.

I am sure that many of you already know these things intuitively. I learned much of this the hard way and am still learning. The good news is that I am much happier and more at peace with myself than I have been in a long time. I have found that if you have laughed, if you have loved, if you have treated others with kindness, given yourself generously, filled your heart with joy and peace then you have had a heck of a day! And that is what will make you happy. This makes happiness my “word” for 2019. True, genuine, clean-to-the-bone, fill-my-soul happiness. Happy 2019 everyone!

Heroes All Around Me

Every year, people will highlight what happened in their lives over the past year with themselves, their kids, and even their pets. I will start out my card this year that way, but then move into a different type of Christmas card. I want to acknowledge and thank all the heroes in my life the past year. Yes, heroes is the right word here.

The highlight of my year occurred in May, when I got to watch my son graduate from the University of Kansas in Lawrence with a Finance degree. I am immensely proud of this likable and lovable son of mine. Rock Chalk forever Brent!

Now to my Christmas Card. Two thousand eighteen was a year that I got to experience heroes all around me. People often bemoan the lack of heroes in today’s world. They just don’t know where to look. Heroes are all around us. Many will tell us they were “just doing their job.” I am forever grateful for those who were “just doing their job.”  There are far too many to acknowledge, but I will do my best.

I start with my family. I remember calling my sister, Sarah Zeller, the morning of July 19, stating that I needed help. I believed that I had a stroke the night before, and could she take me to the hospital? For the record, if you or someone close by is having a stroke, call 911 immediately!! Don’t do what I did by waiting overnight. Back to Sarah, she got me to the hospital. I believe she also had the task of calling all my other family to let them know what had happened with me. Poor, Sarah – I’m sorry about that.

Mom and Dad were with me all the way, each in their own way. No way would I have made it without them. I am so fortunate to have had such supportive parents, who were there for me. When I have needed them most, they have been there for me. Even Angie’s Mom was checking in from Georgia, doing all she could for me, and her support was very much appreciated. But the list is just beginning.

I am so grateful to those who took care of me, medically at St. Luke’s Hospital and St. Luke’s Health System in Kansas City. Nurses who were providing round the clock care and helping me do the most basic life tasks. This was not always a pretty sight, yet I am so thankful they were there to help. If you have ever been in the care of a nurse, you know what I am talking about.  Physical therapists, who brought me back to functioning adulthood. I had to re-learn how to brush my teeth, get dressed, shower, walk, use my hands and legs. I also had to re-engage my brain and re-learn my mental capabilities. The doctors who monitored my medicines and brought my blood pressure under control.

People who visited me in the hospital. If you only knew how much your presence meant to me in those days. Words cannot express the gratitude in my heart. People from my Bible study, a friend from my Baylor days who now lives in Tulsa, who had a stroke himself 5 years ago. A junior high shop teacher from Indian Creek who I hadn’t seen since 9^th grade. My son Brent, whose presence always made me smile. Hundreds of messages of encouragement on my social media accounts. Loved the words of encouragement from each of you. And the countless friends and others all over the country who were praying for my recovery. Prayer is indeed powerful!

I was fortunate to see the best of humanity in each of you. I don’t feel as though I have adequate words to express my gratitude. To all my heroes, I leave you with this -

Thank you. Every single one of you. Thank you! Merry Christmas to you all and all my best for a well- deserved joyous holiday season.  Best wishes to all of you for 2019.

The Hiding Place - Book Review

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor^[a] and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be children of your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:43-45

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Be not afraid..." Jesus Christ many times throughout the New Testament

The verses highlighted above are some of the most difficult teaching of Jesus to his followers. Especially when you are a prisoner to pure evil, an evil that wants to destroy everything you find good.

I recently read The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, and was deeply moved by the true story. I highly recommend reading this book.  The story is about Ms. ten Boom and her family during World War II. Her father, Casper ten Boom was a man of deep and abiding Christian faith. He passed this faith along to his children, and anyone else who would listen. We are introduced to this Dutch family that lives in Holland from Corrie’s childhood on. She was born in 1892, and grew up the daughter of a watchmaker. In addition to watches, the ten Boom home was also a place that welcomed strangers and fed them a meal. Seems there was always an extra place setting every evening at dinner time. However, their world changed in 1940.

The Nazis invaded Holland, conquered the Dutch and set up an occupation government. Life became especially difficult for those of the Jewish faith. Soon, the ten Boom family found themselves being besieged by requests from Jewish people for not only food, but shelter and safety from the Nazis. Their Christian faith compels the ten Boom’s to take them in, feed them and hide them from the Nazis while doing their best to carry forward as watchmakers. Soon, Corrie finds herself deep in the resistance movement, defying the Nazis, and taking bigger and bigger risks to help out her house guests. This all comes crashing down on February 28, 1944, when the Nazis raid the home and arrest the entire ten Boom family after being betrayed by a young man posing as a Jew in need of help.

From there, the book details Corrie’s struggles in prison, her attempts to find out news about her family, especially her father. What we find is not only a story of resistance to pure evil, but a family that lives out its faith to the very end. It is the deeper story of the family that lives out its faith that has me utterly fascinated. How did they live out their faith? How did they build it? How could they trust it? And how could they use it to stand up to evil?

Corrie ten Boom and her family had a relationship with God, built brick by brick over many years. When they needed that faith, it was there for them. Their faith came from many years of not only gaining expertise (i.e. reading the Bible), but through years of trust, built on their experience. They knew from many small incidents that God’s hand was present, so when they were faced with a big crisis moment, they knew God was there with them. It was this faith that taught them to embrace some of Jesus’s most difficult teachings in these crisis-filled days. We see that Corrie’s sister Betsie naturally and instinctively prayed, from prison, for God’s blessings on the young man who betrayed them over to the Nazis. Who does that? Not me! How did she find the faith and the strength to pray for this man? She knew God would be with her and deliver her ultimately from the hand of the Nazis. Surviving in those moments, it is difficult to see God’s presence, and it takes a faith that I admit never having had to see Him. We also see these women march forward in faith. How many times did Jesus instruct us to “be not afraid”? Their faith, built over many years, had taught them not to be afraid. Even when they have been sent to a death camp, and they know their own fate by this time. These ladies had the courage that not only came from having a certain level of expertise, but also an unshakeable faith.

This book is actually two stories layered on top of one another. One is a surface story of a family that resists the Nazis. The other is a spiritual story of a family that is obedient to God's teachings. Not since reading To Kill A Mockingbird have I been moved by a story that details the resistance to pure evil. One will come away amazed at both stories.

I Am A Survivor

I am a father, son, brother, and friend.  I am also a survivor.  I have survived a fatal auto accident, the death of a spouse (which occurred in the auto accident), a failed business, a failed marriage, and depression. Today I speak to you as a stroke survivor. I want to state up front that mine is not a story of despair and doom. If it were, then that is the end of my story. Mine is a story of hope and triumph. I know this is not the end. I have had plenty, and I have done without. I have been blessed and I have been cursed. I have heard the voice of God, and I have had many doubts. Through it all, I am still here. I still have a story to tell, and I still have an adventure of some sort to live.

I still carry scars from my stroke. My right side is numb, and my senses of smell and taste have been knocked hard. I am also extremely fortunate. My stroke was very mild as strokes go. I have no face droop, no blurred vision, no slurred speech and my brain still functions rather normally. I will live with a new normal for the rest of my life. I know the chances of me having a second stroke are much greater than someone my age having a first stroke. I accept all of it. I know the circumstances that brought about my stroke are largely my fault, and that I can take steps to minimize the likelihood of a second stroke. I will go forward with this second chance and do all I can to get it right this time.

I have learned that the best way to survive a stroke is to do all you can to prevent one in the first place. All strokes are a result of high blood pressure, so monitor your pressure and do what you can to keep it in a healthy range. Eat right, watch your salt intake, eat bananas (potassium), get plenty of exercise, live smoke-free, limit alcohol consumption, reduce stress. Some factors you cannot control. Age, sex, genetics play a role. No one is 100% immune from having a stroke. The best way to reduce stress is exercise. Get that nervous energy out of you. And learn to lean on your faith and trust God. In the immediate aftermath of my stroke, I had many people praying for me, and have I found that comforting. God gives me a second chance everyday, and I am so grateful for that.

Another stress reducer that we do not often think of is a grateful heart. A soul filled with gratitude is a happy soul. I have been blessed with so many people who have helped me in my times of need. I hope I have remembered to say thank you to each of you. Learn to appreciate the efforts of others, even if it is not perfect by your standards. Yes, I am a survivor. I have had much help along the way. I embark on a new normal, and I look forward to where it will take me.